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Relocating for Children

Every year, one out of five American families move. It is important to involve children in the new home search and moving process so that they feel involved and informed from the start. Some children and teenagers relish the chance to make a new start in a new place, while others have difficulty with the transition.

Preschoolers may worry about being left behind or being separated from their parents. If you leave town to go house hunting, bring something unique from your new town back with you. Allow your children to express their feelings and fears, and give them a job to do to help with the move, like boxing their favorite toys and decorating the boxes with crayons and stickers.

Elementary age children are most concerned with changes in their everyday routine. It helps to find new places in advance for the things they like to do (like a karate or dance studio, etc.) and bring back brochures or pictures.

Teenagers’ greatest concern is fitting in. They may be angry about the move and feel that they have no control over their friendships, school relationships and activities being disrupted. It helps to bring back pictures of how the kids in their new environment dress, the bikes and cars they drive, and how the new school looks. If the children won’t be able to see their new home before the move, try to bring back video and pictures of it.

Once in your new neighborhood, give children a chore to do to help with the move. Take a break with the family as soon as possible to explore your new city. Arrange a visit to the new school ( if possible, while school is in session, so your child can see things “in action”) and meet with the teacher before the first day of class. Maybe even play in the school playground to observe the other children. Encourage your children to bring new friends home or even arrange yourself to have another family or another child at your home or do an activity together. Let academics take a back seat for a while. Let your children know how proud you are of them.

Children’s Books/Video about Moving/Relocation:

The League of Super Movers: My Moving Adventure - BR Anchor Publishing. Designed for 9-12 year olds. The activities and story line will help prepare children in a positive and enlightening way. Critiqued by a children’s audience in order to provide material from their perspective.

Let’s Make a Move! - by Beverly Roman. “Helps kids think through the preparation for a move, the move itself and adjusting to a new home.”

The Berenstain Bears’ Moving Day - by Stan and Jan Berenstain. The story of the Bear family’s move to their famous tree house in Bear Country. Would Brother Bear like it? Would he find new friends? He wasn’t sure until he got there.

Kidvidz, “Let’s Get a Move On!” - Video guide to moving for kids ages 4-10. Includes hands-on activities.

Goodbye, House: A Kid’s Guide to Moving - by Ann Banks and Nancy Evans. A workbook for kids ages 7-11 to keep them engaged in projects from the moment they learn about the move to settling into their new home.

Alexander, who’s not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move - by Judith Viorst. The rest of Alexander’s family is moving a thousand miles away, but there’s NO way Alexander is going to leave his best friend, his favorite babysitter, or all the places and people he’s known all his life.

Footsteps Around the World - by Beverly Roman. Helps teens deal with feelings, make organizational checklists, making new friends, educational guidelines and more.

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